13May

This Is Not a Birthday Post

• Saved in: General
• by ooza
• with 2 Comments

This is not a birthday post. Technically.

Sometimes, I admit, I’m not the best fan. I used to know all my favorite celebrities’ birthdays and how old they were at any given moment. I’m not sure if I stopped caring about important dates for these larger than life people whom I’ll never meet, or if I’ve finally hit the point of my life where there are too many numbers in my head to keep track of any more.

Whatever the case may be, it took a couple of references to birthdays to realize that today is Rob’s. Then I had to do some math to figure out how old he is now, which may or may not have included fingers and/or a calculator, because let’s face it—I suck at math. And then I even questioned if I had the year right, which I did (I had to check), and if my fingers didn’t fail me, he’s 28.

This is kind of a special birthday of his for me. Okay, that sounds weird and creepy. Don’t flounce me. It’s not like I’m baking a cake or anything. Though I may drink some wine later. (Let’s face it, I was probably drinking wine anyway.)

Let me explain before you hit the little red X. And bear with me. I get rambly, and I’m at work, and I’d rather be blogging than working so…

When Twilight (the movie) was all shiny and new, I had this magazine clipping hanging up on my desk at work. Don’t worry, only I could see it. I may be cray, but I’m damn good at hiding it. The caption said “Twilight’s Young and Beautiful” or something like that. Actually, it might be shoved into the bottom of the drawer reserved for things-I-plan-on-organizing-later, brb.

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Okay, I found it in the very bottom of my drawer amidst some really random items. Along with a bunch of work-related stuff, I found a million return receipts from Victoria’s Secret, a $50 savings bond from my all night graduation party, a copy of my marriage license, a blank greeting card, a note from Joo, my cracked kindle, a receipt for something that cost $599.99 (I have absolutely no idea what it was), and a slew of mortifying photos I can use for #tbt.

Anyway, here it is:

I had to take a picture really quick and then shove everything back into my drawer to thwart any potential embarrassment. The caption actually read “Twilight’s Young Bloods” which… idk. I like the one my mind remembered better.

See, there’s a reason this birthday resonates with me. When I hung up that picture, I was 28.

For a lot of people who are super fans, the saga strikes a deep chord. For me, it came along at a time in my life where all the milestones I’d expected to cross had happened. I’d finished high school and college, started my career, bought a house, gotten married, etc. Not that I felt like my life was over by any means, but I had a certain feeling of “what next?” I was still in my 20s, but I’d hit that point where I realized that I was an adult. I didn’t feel young anymore as I watched a 17- and a 21-year-old play characters who represented eternal youth and true love. Characters who continue blissfully into their small but perfect piece of forever.

And I would never be a vampire. NGL, it made me sad.

Also I’d never had a celebrity crush on a younger man, and basically the whole ordeal made me feel old. He was 6 1/2 years younger than me, and zomg soon I would be moving into the next decade bracket!

For whatever reason, I remember thinking I will always be older than him, but some day he will be 28, and maybe I will look at him and be able to say: I don’t feel that old anymore.

And you know what?

I don’t.